In the past few years Jesus did some really radical stuff in my life turning almost everything about me upside down. I used to be a very negative, critical, mean, nasty, introverted, anti-social, selfish, uncaring person that used to swear and curse all the time as well as do and be addicted to many horrible and shameful practices. Jesus set me free of all that haunted, tormented and chained me in the space of a few months and as a result I had to examine the friends I used to keep close company with. You see these friends were just like I was back then... reprobate, corrupt, perverted, unlawful, self righteous, deceitful, hateful and selfish. I tried to show and tell them I wasn't that guy that did those things anymore but they only tried more and more to drag me back into my old ways and mocked and undermined my new found freedom and excitement about the Jesus that set me free. The truth is, the choice is theirs to stay that way and the choice was mine to change. I can't judge them because I'm not their judge but I am fully accountable for my own choices and actions. I too was once blind like they are and it was only through Jesus love, mercy and grace that my eyes were opened. Jesus never says for us to judge one another but we are called to be wise and have discernment because the heart of mankind is desperately evil and needs the guidance of God for life.
When depression and suicide almost claimed my life Jesus presented me with a crossroad and I choose Him and His ways over me and my ways. I chose for me to die and for Jesus to live. I gave up my life to Him and in doing that I got my life back just like it says in Matthew 10:39. Because of that choice - I found peace, love, identity, confidence and the relationship I always wanted and so badly needed with my Father in Heaven. I found God.
I was praying the past few days about having friends and wanted Gods perspective on it. God never says we are to be friends with everyone. In fact He says not to be friends with foolish or corrupt people because they will do exactly that... corrupt you and make you into a fool. The Bible is very clear about the association you have with others and it's effects on us and tells us to "guard your heart because out of it flows all the issues of your life".
So what's the answer then? Do we live in a cave alone? Do we shield ourselves from everyone out there and never let anyone close? What the Bible says is that we are called to serve one another in pure selfless love. The difference being serving selflessly means we want and seek nothing for ourselves but instead seek only good for others. Friendship is a two way street but serving as Jesus did is a one way street.
We are most certainly not asked by God to be friends with everyone. Only Jesus has the capacity and ability to do and be that. Instead Jesus asks us to serve one another in love, honour and truth.
Jesus is asking us to trust Him and do it His way and He promises He will bless you with all you need - including good friends with pure hearts that seek after God and show His love to others. Trust Him, He knows what He's doing and He loves you.
[ Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you ]
The Bible and Gods view on Friendship
Choosing Friends...
Proverbs 12:26
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 14:6-7
A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge
Proverbs 22:24-25
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."
Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
James 4:4
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
Proverbs 20:6
Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?
Proverbs 22:11
Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend.
How to treat your friends...
Luke 6:3
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Romans 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:29-32
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:12-14
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Examples of Friendship in the Bible
Ruth and Naomi
Ruth 1:16-17
But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you."
David and Jonathan
1 Samuel 18:1-3
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.
Job's Friends
Job 2:11
Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.
Elijah and Elisha
2 Kings 2:2
And Elijah said to Elisha, "Please stay here, for the LORD has sent me as far as Bethel." But Elisha said, "As the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you." So they went down to Bethel.