I wanna share something God put on my heart about the love of God and how much Jesus is to me. First though I need to give you a bit of a back story. You may have read in my other posts that I came from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was just four years old and my Dad left home leaving my Mum to raise me and my siblings. I'd see my Dad every second Saturday but sadly all I remember is bitter fighting and arguing between my parents. I grew up very lonely, very lost and with my identity extremely damaged as a result of my home life. But that's not the whole picture... My Dad came from Holland and moved to Australia when he was about 30. He also came from a badly abusive and violent home and as a result didn't speak to his own mother for over 20 years. I know very little more than that because his past is shrouded in secrecy and pain. My Mum also came from a very toxic and abusive home with an alcoholic father that used to beat her and her 10 brothers and sisters. She grew up interstate and had to move states because she just couldn't bare to think of her boys being exposed to what her family was.
I never understood why she did that until very recently. She shared with me some of the horrible atrocities that happened in her family and between her brothers, sisters and father that aren't even able to be spoken of. Sadly as a result of both my parents backgrounds I not only grew up in a broken home but I have a broken family line on both sides. To this day I've never known what its like to have a grandparent, I don't have any relationships with aunties, uncles, and I don't know what it's like to have cousins. Because of the pain in my own immediate family my siblings went down their own paths during their teenage years - one took the path of drugs and crime and ended up in jail - the other complete disconnection from our family and the endless pursuit of money and success. So that's where I come from... brokenness, pain and loneliness. Now, sorry to start off like that but I'll get to why in a second. As a very little boy a man shared a verse with me from Psalm 68:5 that always stayed with me. He wasn't a very nice man and he didn't even like me at all but what he said was the truth. Interestingly I've learnt that God can use the truth to reach us from very strange places. He said "God is the Father to the fatherless..." It always stuck with me. It took a long, long time for that truth to really unravel and become real but I can say to you that this truth forms one of the biggest parts of my identity today. I've missed out on a lot in this life as far as family connections that probably most others don't even think twice about - but I found something that changed me forever.
The love of my Father in Heaven. The reason I shared all I just did is for this reason. You are not a product of your family line. You are not a product of your pain. You are not a product of others mistakes and choices. You are not a product of hate, pain and abuse. You are not even a product of your mistakes. You are simply and unconditionally loved by God and I pray as you read this that He starts to reach into your heart with His love and show you that it's true. What God put on my heart is this... Romans 5:8 says "But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." This simple truth is what really changed me. You see, take one look at my background above and it's pretty easy to see that I was a lost sheep. A poor little lamb stuck in the thorns and nettles just waiting there to be easy prey for a predator. I knew I was as lost as could be, my own heart told it to me every single day. I knew I was a sinner. I couldn't help but sin, it was the only nature I knew. But here's the good news... God saw me - a poor little boy, helplessly lost in a cycle of pain, abuse and loneliness and had great pity on me. It was His astounding mercy that motivated Him to send His Son Jesus to die for me and my crimes - and it was Jesus radical and undeserved love for me that motivated Him to obey and do what needed to be done. To become my sin. To become my pain. To become my emptiness and loneliness.
He was never responsible for all the things that happened in my life and in the lives of my family yet He knew that there was no way I could fix, help or save myself. So as an 8 year old boy in an old classroom after school when I was told that Jesus took my sin on the cross and died in my place and that all I had to do was accept His amazing gift by nothing more than childlike faith - I took it with both hands like a starving child being offered his first real meal. And the truth was not that far from that really... Because of my past I was starved for love and when shown this true selfless kind of love by God - I wanted it more than anything in my life. Somehow even as a very small boy I knew that it was love that was missing in my life and I somehow knew that nothing else was going to truly fill that hole. In the Bible Jesus is called the Good Shepherd and theres a very good reason for this. We are simply just lambs who can't really help ourselves or defend ourselves. Now imagine that a predator comes to attack the flock. By simple instinct any predator out there is going to pick the easy meal... They look for the stragglers, the foolish, the ones that strayed from the safety of the herd, the ones lost in the shadows, the ones trapped and held down in the thorns.
The shepherd knows and sees His little lamb is stuck and going to be ripped to shreds by this wild animal so instead of the lamb being devoured and torn asunder the shepherd yells and draws attention to himself and away from the trapped lamb. The little lamb watches on as the shepherd fights the vicious beast with His bare hands and the ensuing result is both the beast and the shepherd lay bleeding and dying in the dust. The predator is dead and the lambs freedom has been bought in blood and at the price of the shepherds precious life. This is the love Jesus has for us. He is that good shepherd, the predator is sin and we are those helpless lambs. The good news I want to share is this... Jesus has the power to transform. He has the power to make all things new. He has the power to transform little helpless lambs into lions that roar for His Kingdom and His glory. This is my Jesus. This is my King. This is what He did for me. He not only died for me and saved me... He also showed me the true meaning of love. And that's what I really needed all along. Your Father in Heaven loves you so much more than words can describe. I pray today that God uses these words to penetrate the areas of your heart that have been hardened by pain, sadness and loneliness and that His love starts to transform you like it did for me. God loves you.
I never understood why she did that until very recently. She shared with me some of the horrible atrocities that happened in her family and between her brothers, sisters and father that aren't even able to be spoken of. Sadly as a result of both my parents backgrounds I not only grew up in a broken home but I have a broken family line on both sides. To this day I've never known what its like to have a grandparent, I don't have any relationships with aunties, uncles, and I don't know what it's like to have cousins. Because of the pain in my own immediate family my siblings went down their own paths during their teenage years - one took the path of drugs and crime and ended up in jail - the other complete disconnection from our family and the endless pursuit of money and success. So that's where I come from... brokenness, pain and loneliness. Now, sorry to start off like that but I'll get to why in a second. As a very little boy a man shared a verse with me from Psalm 68:5 that always stayed with me. He wasn't a very nice man and he didn't even like me at all but what he said was the truth. Interestingly I've learnt that God can use the truth to reach us from very strange places. He said "God is the Father to the fatherless..." It always stuck with me. It took a long, long time for that truth to really unravel and become real but I can say to you that this truth forms one of the biggest parts of my identity today. I've missed out on a lot in this life as far as family connections that probably most others don't even think twice about - but I found something that changed me forever.
The love of my Father in Heaven. The reason I shared all I just did is for this reason. You are not a product of your family line. You are not a product of your pain. You are not a product of others mistakes and choices. You are not a product of hate, pain and abuse. You are not even a product of your mistakes. You are simply and unconditionally loved by God and I pray as you read this that He starts to reach into your heart with His love and show you that it's true. What God put on my heart is this... Romans 5:8 says "But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." This simple truth is what really changed me. You see, take one look at my background above and it's pretty easy to see that I was a lost sheep. A poor little lamb stuck in the thorns and nettles just waiting there to be easy prey for a predator. I knew I was as lost as could be, my own heart told it to me every single day. I knew I was a sinner. I couldn't help but sin, it was the only nature I knew. But here's the good news... God saw me - a poor little boy, helplessly lost in a cycle of pain, abuse and loneliness and had great pity on me. It was His astounding mercy that motivated Him to send His Son Jesus to die for me and my crimes - and it was Jesus radical and undeserved love for me that motivated Him to obey and do what needed to be done. To become my sin. To become my pain. To become my emptiness and loneliness.
He was never responsible for all the things that happened in my life and in the lives of my family yet He knew that there was no way I could fix, help or save myself. So as an 8 year old boy in an old classroom after school when I was told that Jesus took my sin on the cross and died in my place and that all I had to do was accept His amazing gift by nothing more than childlike faith - I took it with both hands like a starving child being offered his first real meal. And the truth was not that far from that really... Because of my past I was starved for love and when shown this true selfless kind of love by God - I wanted it more than anything in my life. Somehow even as a very small boy I knew that it was love that was missing in my life and I somehow knew that nothing else was going to truly fill that hole. In the Bible Jesus is called the Good Shepherd and theres a very good reason for this. We are simply just lambs who can't really help ourselves or defend ourselves. Now imagine that a predator comes to attack the flock. By simple instinct any predator out there is going to pick the easy meal... They look for the stragglers, the foolish, the ones that strayed from the safety of the herd, the ones lost in the shadows, the ones trapped and held down in the thorns.
The shepherd knows and sees His little lamb is stuck and going to be ripped to shreds by this wild animal so instead of the lamb being devoured and torn asunder the shepherd yells and draws attention to himself and away from the trapped lamb. The little lamb watches on as the shepherd fights the vicious beast with His bare hands and the ensuing result is both the beast and the shepherd lay bleeding and dying in the dust. The predator is dead and the lambs freedom has been bought in blood and at the price of the shepherds precious life. This is the love Jesus has for us. He is that good shepherd, the predator is sin and we are those helpless lambs. The good news I want to share is this... Jesus has the power to transform. He has the power to make all things new. He has the power to transform little helpless lambs into lions that roar for His Kingdom and His glory. This is my Jesus. This is my King. This is what He did for me. He not only died for me and saved me... He also showed me the true meaning of love. And that's what I really needed all along. Your Father in Heaven loves you so much more than words can describe. I pray today that God uses these words to penetrate the areas of your heart that have been hardened by pain, sadness and loneliness and that His love starts to transform you like it did for me. God loves you.
