It's been nearly a month now. I had to step away from it all. It all got too much. Everything got muddy. Blurred. Foggy. Somewhere along the way I lost my reason. Everything I was doing was in reaction to the things that prodded and poked me and none of it was pure anymore. The words people said and the things they did haunted me day and night. I had become corrupted. I was told by God to step away indefinitely. No time frame... just step away from it all. In the past month I had to take stock of everything I was doing on here. Why was I here? Did it even make a difference? Had I just become some cliched entertainer just as my enemies in the past had thrown in my face? Had I become a marketable concept? Was I simply just a product to be consumed? I utterly despise all those things and at the risk of that being true I had to step away and closely examine myself and why I was here. It's been a very dark month. Like solitary confinement. But It was necessary. Isolation was needed to bring me the focus I desperately required. The words of my enemies assaulted and berated me day and night but God was there in it all.


In the amazing way that only He can - He used their words. This is the power of a sovereign God who is completely in control. Not even the onslaught of evil takes Him by surprise. Even the efforts of your enemies work in your favour if you follow God's voice. Unsurprisingly, He used their accusations to refine me - to correct me - to mould me. Like a sword struck, sharpened, and thrust into fire - I was being honed. It hurt... a lot. Losing the things I clung onto to so tightly - my vain, selfish ambition and false religion - but in everything I still followed Him and His voice. It was His quiet, still yet unwavering voice that led me through it all. The darkest night was last night. I had almost all but given up hope and faith. But it is always the darkest before the dawn... Absolutely true to His character, today He showed me what I needed to see. This afternoon, as I stood in a crowded room full of people God showed me a picture of myself on my hands and knees groping in the dark in a cave. His voice said to me... "Mark, how long will you hide in the darkness? - I made you for much more than this. You weren't made to hide. You were made to push back the darkness!"


It was at that moment I saw it and felt it. A sword on the ground in the dust. I grabbed its hilt and immediately its power coursed through me like the output of an industrial power station. Instantly He brought one word to my mind.... "REDEMPTION". I knew now why I was here. I had found my reason. My purpose. My message. My Hope. I had cried out to God this past month and said "I never chose this... I don't have what it takes... I can't do this anymore..." His answer to me was "You are right. You did not choose this. I chose you. When I came to you - you were broken, lost, addicted, hopeless and chained in a prison. You had no hope of ever setting yourself free. Your attempts to escape from your prison only made the walls higher and the iron door thicker. You could never save yourself or even help yourself. It was I - God - that saved you, helped you and redeemed you." He was of course totally and completely right. I can't describe to you the freedom that is to know your purpose again, your reason, and your hope. I know now why Jesus chose me. Not because I had any merit of my own but exactly the opposite.


I was hopelessly lost, chained and full of hideous demons that haunted me day and night. For Him to use me to even speak of His Name and His goodness only highlights the very power of His redemption. There is not anyone that can't be saved or redeemed. No matter what you've done - Jesus did more on the cross. He took more, faced more and went further than your sin will ever go. I had lost heart when God opened my eyes and I saw the hordes upon hordes of my enemies that plague and enslave this world - the dark spiritual forces that control areas, territories and countries - but that wasn't the full picture. There is a weapon that we of the light possess. Redemption... It is the very power of conversion. It has the ability to take even the worst and highest ranking generals of the opposing force and turn them into comrades of the light. Remember the story of the terrorist Saul of Tarsus who killed innocent women and children who then became the Apostle Paul sent by Jesus. Redemption... A weapon truly feared by our enemy and one that highlights the very power of God Himself. After all, it's the very reason Jesus came. Redemption... 

Think for a minute about Jesus betrayer... Think about someone who ate with Jesus... Walked with Him... Laughed with Him... Cried with Him... Studied under Him... Learnt from Him... Someone who was His disciple who then when it the mattered the most  - out right betrayed Him in front of everyone and let Him be handed over to cruel murderers who mocked Him, beat Him, shamed Him and then killed Him in the most gruesomely public and horrible way possible. How do you feel about that man? What are your thoughts about someone who wouldn't stand by the Son of God and the Saviour of the World when it really mattererd but instead only showed selfish self preservation when darkness was descending on all sides? What do you think that type of man deserves for His betrayal? What should done to that man and how should he be remembered? Well, it may shock you but Jesus chose to use that man to build His church on. You most likely thought of Judas Iscariot when I described Jesus betrayer above but in truth I was describing Jesus' disciple Peter.

The same Peter that walked on water to Jesus, who ate with Him, learnt from Him and was one of His closest friends - betrayed Him at the very end publicly stating three times that He didn't follow or even know Jesus and even uttered profanities to establish his point of separation from Jesus. When it mattered the most and Jesus really needed Peter's support, companionship and loyalty he coldly betrayed the One who gave Him life, love,  purpose and identity. So why did Jesus later on choose to use this man to build something so important and something so precious as His church on and through? The answer is simple. It's called Mercy. Peter didn't deserve God's mercy but that's exactly what true and pure mercy is - totally and utterly undeserved favour and kindness irrespective of our choices and actions. This is the true heart of God and the power of His love. His mercy can't be explained or quantified - it must simply be received. God loves you and He knows you'll never measure up but it's His mercy and love that bridges the gap and brings us back to Our Father in Heaven through His Son Jesus Christ. I'm so thankful for His mercy that's new for me every single day because I stumble and fall so often like a cripple without his crutches but it's His love for me that picks me up over and over and gets me back on track. His mercy is there for me no matter how many times I betray Him. Thank you Jesus for saving me. Thank you...

[ Lamentions 3:22-23 - The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. great is your faithfulness. ]

I'd like to offer some wisdom in regards to relationships coming from a perspective God has given me. This is not some religious rant or something I've picked up from a book. It's just up front, basic wisdom that God gave me from walking with Him and I do hope it practically helps you guys. The thing is, whether you're in a relationship or not this all applies and I'll explain why. You've heard the statement "I'm looking for the right guy or right girl" but I believe it's less about finding the right person and more about being the right person. If you are living as the wrong type of person then you'll naturally attract the wrong type of person as your companion. The signal you send out is what you will attract or just like fishing the bait you use is the fish you'll catch. This all applies just as much if you're in a relationship already as far as the longevity of that relationship. So, the question is "What is being the right person?" Well, you can read 1000 books from 1000 different authors but personally I'd much rather get a far higher authority on it and you obviously can't possibly go any higher than what God says. So what does He say? Read Micah 6:8  "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God"

So put very simply, the person you should aim and pray to be is someone who has justice as a strong part of your character and identity. Why is justice important? Because justice is the root of loyalty, trust, faith and security. Those are all extremely good strong things to build a good relationship on. The next thing God says is to be merciful. Why? Because even the best people fall and fail but a merciful person will forgive and rebuild - that's the type of person you want to be and you'll also want to be in a relationship with when the going gets tough. Perfection is not reality when it comes to us humans but our weakness combined with forgiveness and mercy creates something truly powerful that can stand the test of time. Lastly, God says to walk humbly with your God. I'll explain this simply. It means to recognize that we are all just little children who need our Heavenly Father to help, guide, forgive, love and provide for us on a daily basis. In short - justice, mercy and humility are the three key traits you should aim to be and look for in others if you want your relationship to thrive and last the trials of life.  

I know there's at least one person out there this is for today but I've got a feeling that it's more likely a stack of you. 

Listen, God knows your pain. He knows what happened and how it seems not even close to being fair or right... but it did happen. God isn't afraid of your pain. He knows why you do what you do to cope and get by and He doesn't judge you. He isn't afraid of you being angry about it either. He doesn't say "when you've got a big smile on your face and a great attitude then come talk to Me..." No. He just says "Come...As you are..." He knows the deal straight up - all the gritty details, all the ugly stuff, all those internal conversations that just repeat over and over. And that's exactly why Jesus came - to help and save us any time we need it. We were never designed to carry the burdens this life brings on our own - but He can. Psalm 50:15 says "Call on Me in your day of trouble and I will rescue you". That applies to everyone by the way - not just those who "meet the standard". Truth be told, no one meets the standard. We all fall short and God knows that. So don't walk that road alone. Call out to God and He'll carry your pack and walk with you. He's got big shoulders and the best ears for listening. Seek Him and you will find Him when you seek Him with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13). 

God loves you.  

So what is love? I've heard science say it's a chemical reaction. So does that mean love can be induced by a drug? How cold and absurd to liken love to a test tube. So what is love? Is it mutual compatability? Is it an agreement that honours both parties? Is love simply an emotional state? Is love the equivalent of pleasure and bliss? Is love comfort and safety? I believe all of the above are totally incorrect. As someone who grew up in a broken home barely ever hearing the words "I love you" from a genuine heart - I began a search in my late teens as to what love really was. There seemed to be so many that spoke of love but I felt as if so few really knew what it meant. That search came to a conclusion when an event happened in my life that God used to bring everything I had ever known and built come crashing down around me. In such a moment of cataclysmic destruction God used something so small to create a mirror of sorts in my life that allowed me to see what love really was. Love in its purest form is a choice. You don't find love - you choose to love. A love that is found is a love that can be lost. Falling in love is also something you can fall out of. But when love is a choice - then only you can break it. If that choice is maintained every single day then love becomes an impenetrable force that grows. The Bible says in 1 John 4:19 "We love - because God first loved us". The very notion of love is only possible and known to us as humans because of God himself. God is love embodied. It's not a part of His character - It is who He is. He is love. He chooses to love us even though we fail, even though we sin, even though we blatently disobey - He always has love for us. Put simply, He looked at a world full of His own creations that had become corrupted by sin and knew they couldn't ever help or save themselves - so He chose to die to save us. That's love right there. A choice. God chose you. He didn't need to do that but He chose to for one simple reason... Love.  

Quick story for you guys from the Bible. God promises the nation of Israel a home in a place called "the promised land". They travel a long time to get there and the journey is tough. Many die along the way straying from God's direction and safety. Eventually they get to the outskirts of the land so they decide to send in 12 spies to gather intel and search out the land in order to formulate a battle plan. 10 of the spies return saying "it can't be done, giants live there and the cities are heavily fortified". Two of the spies strongly disagree saying "God is with us so it can most definitely be done". One of those spies was Joshua who went on to lead the people after Moses died and was one of the nation's best and most decorated leaders. The other was Caleb - a guy who goes down in history as asking for his retirement gift to be the hill county that's full of savages and barbarians so it's some sort of challenge to him. Needless to say even as an old man he drove out all the bad guys and made a nice home in the mountains. The question is... Who are you going to be? One of the 10 spies who says that what God promised you can't be done... Or are you going to be like Joshua and Caleb who didn't count the odds but trusted in a big God? I'll say it straight - Soldier up and see God match your fervour with His might and power. I chose a long time ago to take His hand and follow where He leads and He's never let me down once. I know Him well enough too that He ain't gonna start now. "If God is for us who can stand against us?" Go make it real because we have a God who is really strong.

What happens to a small puppy that grows up in society neglected, forgotten, abused, teased, mocked and beaten in home after home after home? Soon, it learns to find its place in the wilderness. It learns to fend for itself, it learns to feed itself, it learns to fight for itself, it learns to learn for itself. So then what do you think happens to that dog when you tell it that it now needs to go and exist again in the confines of urban society? There's no way that dog could ever live again under the laws imposed by mankind. Do you know why that dog can never go back? The answer is simple. In the wilderness it found out what it really was. In the wilderness it found freedom. Do not fear your wilderness. God uses the wilderness to shape and form us. Check your Bible. Moses, David, Rahab, Samson, Gideon, Caleb, Elijah, John the Baptist... God often uses wild things. He has a purpose for you.

You are not defined by what you produce - you are defined by who you belong to.

God loves you for who you really are - even if you have absolutely no idea who you are.

His love isn't based on your performance. His love is based on His character.

Love based on performance is an invention of mankind called false religion.

God loves us long before we love Him.

The best thing you can do is simply accept and receive His love. We are simply sinners saved by accepting God's grace as a gift.

God loves you.

1 John 4:10 - This is real love - not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 

I'll share something thats been on my heart lately that God's opened my eyes to. I've been asking and praying to God for direction in life right now and He's answered in an interesting yet not surprising way. God's like that I've found - His wisdom is so simple that we so often miss it or overcomplicate it. What He opened my eyes to was this... Do what you've been given to do the best you can and with all your heart - and be content with that. Resist those voices and impulses to be "more" and instead do what you are actually called to do the best you can. I'll clarify. If you're single - do that really well. Enjoy life, enjoy your freedom, be thankful. The voices will say "if only you had that guy or that girl then you'd be happy..." Ignore the lies. The devil wants you to focus on what you don't have - not what you do. The same if you're married. Be the absolute best husband or wife you can be. Don't ever think that's a small thing. Divorce and transient relationships are so common these days and take it from someone who came from a broken home that all I ever wanted as a kid was for my parents to get back together. If you're a parent - be an awesome parent. Your kids need you for guidance, discipline and love. After all you're shaping priceless lives. So many kids these days grow up with disconnected and absent parents. So whatever it is you are given to do - do it well. Dont play the game of doing or being "everything" - instead focus on what you're actually called to be the very best you can. Be thankful, content and enjoy it with all your heart and God will help you and reward you with His peace. Have an awesome day! 

A few weeks back God took me on a journey. There were some things in my life and in my character that needed work and as such I needed to completely disconnect from all social media and outside influences so He could speak clearly and I was able to understand His wisdom without distraction. God's asked me to do this several times before so I knew it was something quite serious and very important. You see, God's wisdom is not like our wisdom. His wisdom is not just logic based or knowledge gleaned from life experience. His wisdom cuts far, far above all that and is in itself timeless wisdom. This is why Proverbs 3:5-6 is so true.  So what He's told me to do is to share some of what I learnt over my 7 days with the Master. If it helps and encourages you - that's great. If you vehemently disagree - that's fine too. Either way, it doesn't change a thing for me. I know my relationship with God and I'm not here to negotiate or debate it - it just is what is is. What I am here to do is share my heart and what you do with that is completely up to you. Put simply, my job is to be a humble messenger.


With that said I do sincerely hope the things I share encourage you as I believe that is the true heart of God to lift and build each others lives. Ok, so the first thing He spoke to me was this. "Learn to draw in the sand". I knew immediately what He meant when He said this as He brought to mind the story of the woman who the religious leaders of Jesus day had dragged into the street before Him in John chapter 8. They had a claim that she had been caught in the act of adultery and wanted to test Jesus on how He would react to this. Now, there's a lot to be learned from this story but the main thing Jesus got me to focus on was the very first thing He did when they confronted Him with a challenge. He drew on the ground in front of them in plain sight. Have you ever wondered why He did that? I'll tell you why. He did it for our benefit and to teach us something. Keep in mind Jesus was perfect in all His wisdom and didn't ever need to even think twice about giving the proper response - yet He paused and drew on the ground. Why? He did it to teach us what to do when someone puts a challenge in front of you which is designed to manipulate a response.


I'll put this as a plain as possible - manipulation is witchcraft. Even in it's smallest form it's still witchcraft. And witchcraft always has it's origin from darkness. Jesus was light so He knew and could sense in His spirit immediately that what was happening was a lot more than just some religious leaders pulling a poor woman into the street. It was behind that a deliberate attack on His authority, His identity and on what and who He believed. It was an underhanded, cowardly attack from the devil himself and Jesus saw right through it. Now the drawing the ground bit is important and I'll explain it like this. God made the world in 6 days on the seventh day He rested. Did God really need to rest? Was He really tired? Absolutely not. He is infinite in power. So why did He rest on the seventh day? He did it to teach us that we also need to rest. Jesus drawing on the ground was exactly the same. He didn't need to take a minute to think of His response or to calm down so He didn't react to the tricks and deception going on - He was perfect. But Jesus knew that we so often do need to take a moment to chill out, think and hold your tongue before we run our mouths.


He knows we are only human and that we are weak and react easily to manipulation. There are many references in the Bible that mention how much trouble our tongues get us into and that if someone can control their tongue they are considered very wise. What Jesus wanted to teach us here by drawing on the ground was to learn self control even in the face of an offensive challenge. Does this mean we become pacifists that defer all conflict? Absolutely not. Jesus said "Let you yes be yes and your no be no" He wants us to be deliberate in all we do but He also wants us to make conscious choices for our actions and for what comes out of our mouths. What Jesus was teaching us is to it slow it down and to give God the room and ability to talk to you in that brief moment before you just naturally react as we all so often do. Put simply... Don't react - Choose then Act. It may be the difference between starting and averting a war - or keeping and losing a relationship.  I'll be sharing more of what I learnt over the next weeks and months and I hope that it does help you in your day to day life and interactions with others. Have a great day guys.